So, I'm going to try journaling again. I've just never seemed to be able to keep it going. Life tends to get in the way, but I really do feel better when I do it! It's very cathartic to be able to get your feelings and thoughts down on (virtual) paper. (You wouldn't want to try to read my actual handwriting, it's atrocious!)

I am on my own for the morning. Jim took Gabe out Christmas shopping with him leaving me at home all by my lonesome. What in the world do I do with myself? I think that I will attempt to take a nap since Gabe was up several times last night due to teething, poor little bugger. This afternoon I have to do some cleaning and baking. Our house is gross. I'm hoping that Jim will entertain the munchkin (maybe take him over to Gmom's house) so I can mop the floor.

The girls ministry at our new church seems to be going well. I really love the girls that have been coming. They're very self-assured, which doesn't seem to be the norm in teenage girls today, so it's very refreshing.

Healthwise, Jim is doing alright and the same for me. We need to find specialists in this area that fit us. I really don't like doctors that talk down to me like I can't understand my own condition. It makes me angry. In fact, I think I'd rather have an endocrinologist with diabetes as opposed to one who doesn't have it because I feel it gives them a better idea of what their patients are going through. It humanizes the disease, you know?

Gabe is doing fantastic. He is learning and doing new things everyday. I love it when he repeats words he hears. Today he said sweatshirt for the first time, only it came out more like "Swee sh**." Hmmm... note to self, try to get him to not say that in public!

Other than my staple of board books (Where's Spot? is pure literary genius in my son's opinion) I haven't had a lot of time for reading. I'm attempting to read "They Poured Fire on Us From the Sky" about the Lost Boys from Sudan. It's a library book, so I've got a limited time. *light dawns* Maybe I should try reading it now, with everyone out of the house, eh? I'd also like to read the next novel by Khaled Hosseini, as I really enjoyed "The Kite Runner." I guess I'll just add it to my never ending list of books I want to read. I should post that thing sometime. I also want to reread the entire cannon of Jane Austen. I haven't read her stuff in a few years and I'm definitely due.

God continues to be good to us. Our new church is wonderful and we're beginning to make friends. Money is tight, but God always provides for us. Right now I'm trying to figure out what direction He wants me to go in. I don't know if He wants me to continue to stay home with Gabe or try and get a job to help out. I personally feel like I'm a better wife/mother when I'm working, but I know that I've done some major growing in those areas by staying home, so I don't really know what to think. Leaving New York was one of the hardest things God has asked us to do and we still miss everyone, but I know that we have grown a lot since we've been back in Michigan. Growth seems to be a reoccurring theme in God's plan for us. ;) Too bad, it's generally pretty painful. We're hoping to go out and visit NY in the late spring/early summer of next year. Until then, we'll keep sending frequent letters/emails/text messages/phone calls to stay in touch with everyone.

Ok, enough for now. I'm going to take my book and go to bed!

We got to my parents house on the 1st. It was my Mom's birthday and I wanted to at least spend a bit of time with her. Gabe is sleeping so much better here now that there is a crib. I seriously can't believe the difference. We have been just enjoying relaxing and spending time with our family. I love to take walks in my hometown. There is always something pretty to look at. The houses are interesting, the artwork is thought provoking, the shop windows always have new things and I love the flowers. We were also really happy to be able to check out books at the library using my Mom's card. There was huge storm that came through the next day and knocked out the power. Having library books made no power much more bearable. We just got the power back on today, hence the post.

We've been enjoying the holiday a lot so far. This morning we went to a pancake breakfast at a local fire department. Gabe really enjoyed seeing the firetrucks up close and he LOVED the pancakes. This afternoon we went across the street to the marina for their annual 4th of July party. Again, tons of food. Then we played in the yard (it's an absolutely gorgeous day!) and Gabe got a bath from grandma. Tonight, we're planning on walking down to the water with my parents and watching the fireworks. I hope Gabe doesn't mind the loud noise. We put him to bed early so he's get enough rest.

Gabe has eaten like a piggy today. Makes me wonder if he's on a growth spurt. This morning before the pancake breakfast he had some Cheerios, fruit and milk. If that boy doesn't get his food ASAP in the morning, no one is happy! Then we went to the pancake breakfast where he ate almost as much as I did! He had one pancake with syrup, two sausage links and some chocolate milk. Later that afternoon at he party he had half a hot dog on a bun, some baked beans, some potato salad and some water. When we got home he signed eat right away (I was like, seriously?) so I gave him some Cheerios. Then later after his nap, he signed eat again. He ate some goldfish crackers, a bowl of leftover goulash, a bowl of applesauce and some milk. I'm wondering if he's going to pop. I have never seen him eat that much in one day. I'm also not looking forward to his diaper tomorrow morning - ick!

Jim seems to be doing better. I think getting away for a few days and relaxing has really helped him. We're hoping that he can get back to work on Monday. Keep us in your prayers.

Happy 4th everyone!

So we went to the U of M ED. They weren't very helpful. They did get rheumatology to do an over-the-phone consult and that will hopefully get Jim seen sooner than he would have been. He can't really wait a few weeks, he needs to get back to work.

Gabe has had diarrhea (see I can spell it right on the first try now!) since Wednesday. Other than it giving him heinous diaper rash, which seems to have mostly cleared up, you wouldn't be able to tell he's sick at all. He's just a very happy-go-lucky, laid back type of kid... unless you're trying to get him to eat his veggies.

Everything is slowly coming together at the house. My FIL is almost finished installing our kitchen sink, dish washer and garbage disposal. We're planning on going over to my parents house for a few days to celebrate my Mom's birthday and the 4th of July, so he's going to try and get it finished while we're there.

Tonight, in between bouts of Gabe waking up screaming and having to be rocked back to sleep, I cleaned the iron stains out of our shower. We used something called "Iron Out." It works really well, but man does it smell horrible. It's a very yucky chemical. Even with wearing one of Jim's old T-shirts over my mouth/nose, I still ended up having to do the cleaning in four parts because I would get overwhelmed by the fumes. My throat is sore and I can still taste that nasty stuff. Yuck. At least it works. You wouldn't know we have horribly hard water if you looked at our shower right now. I hope that our water softener gets fixed soon.

We missed church again this Sunday due to Gabe's diarrhea. Bummer. I've connected with some other MI moms online and I'm hoping to score some play dates for Gabe from that.

Not much else to write. I'm just in survival mode trying to keep my two guys healthy, fed and in clean clothes. Keep us in your prayers.

Taking Jim to the hospital again for increased pain in his hip. Please pray for us. I'll update when I can.

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)

Everyone needs more baby carriers! :)

Our kitchen counter top was installed today. It looks great. Now we just need the sink hooked up and I can actually use our kitchen!

Gabe is teething like a maniac. He keeps chewing his finger, has had righteous diarrhea and has cried/clung to me most of the day. I just needed to laugh & thought I'd share.


more cat pictures


more cat pictures


more cat pictures


more cat pictures


more cat pictures

06/22/08

So it’s 11:00 pm. I’m sitting in the U of M medical center ED with Jim. Gabe is (hopefully) in bed at his grandparents. Jim went in to the Foote Hospital ED today because the pain was just unbearable in his hip. He had doubled up on the Tylenol 3 that the medical clinic doctor had prescribed him, but even that wasn’t helping anymore. Foote took some x-rays of his hip and did some blood work. They gave him some morphine for the pain. The blood work came back a little off and they wanted an MRI (for some reason they couldn’t do it at Foote tonight, even though they have an MRI), so they transferred him to U of M. Yay. I am writing you from deep in enemy territory. ;) They’re going to do more blood work, an MRI and an ultrasound of his hip. He is running a fever, so I’m thinking he probably has an infection, which would really suck. Bone infections are really awful and take some fairly invasive procedures to treat. Praise the Lord that I still have my insurance from my old job. I’m actually hoping that they admit him so that the insurance will cover everything. I’m going to call the insurance company tomorrow morning to make sure that we’re not going to have any problems due to us being in MI and the insurance being based in NY. Jim already called his boss. How much does it suck that he had to be sent home his first day at work? What are we going to do if we don’t get money coming in soon? I’m so scared. I’m scared that something in going to be seriously wrong with Jim and I’m scared that we’re going to be broke before this is over. I spent a bunch of money on groceries tonight and now I wish I hadn’t. I’m just so scared. More later when we find out something new.

06/23/08

Ok, Jim was discharged early this morning around 5:30 am. All together Jim was in various EDs for 15 1/2 hours. Yipes! We spent all night out in the hallway of the ED. That place was packed! They ran all sorts of tests on him. They found out that he had a fluid pocket on his hip. He had an MRI, an ultrasound, more blood work, a chest x-ray and they put a needle into his hip to take out the fluid and test it. The good news is that it's not an infection, which can cause serious damage to joints. The bad news is, they're not really sure why Jim got it and it could come back again. They gave him some new pain medication (like Vicodin) which seems to be helping and told him put as little weight on his hip as possible. They told him to come back to the ER if he spikes a fever over 101 (he had a 103 degree fever when he got to the U of M ED last night) or if his pain becomes unmanageable. If his pain gets too bad for him to deal with it at home, he'll have to be admitted to the hospital and put on a morphine drip. So we got home and crashed. Bless my MIL for watching Gabe all day. Jim's hobbling around on crutches and seems to be doing much better. I'm sure the Vicodin has something to do with that. He's going to follow up with the Gastroenterology and Rheumatology departments at U of M and hopefully they can resolve this problem. I don't know when Jim is going to be able to go back to work and I have no idea how I'm going to pay our bills this month. *chants to myself* God is in control, God is in control, God is in control....

Hello, is anybody out there? I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for forever, it seems.

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve actually written anything here. I suppose I should re-introduce myself. I am 27 years old. I am a Christian. I’ve been married for 5 ½ years and have an almost 1 ½ year old son. I love them both to distraction. I recently moved from Western New York back to my husband’s hometown in Michigan. I feel like I’m trying to find myself in this new environment. I’m not sure exactly who I am anymore. For the past year, I think I’ve just been treading water in regards to my life. I was so busy just trying to survive day-to-day that I didn’t really have time for anything extra like writing. *wry smile* It’s likely that me not expressing myself on a regular basis lead to my being put on medication for depression.

Anyhow, I used to work full time as a social worker for a large nonprofit company. I enjoyed my work. It was fulfilling. I know that I made a difference in people’s lives. My husband was attending school fulltime to be a respiratory therapist and didn’t have time for a job. We didn’t have much money living on just my salary, but somehow it worked. We were blessed to not have to pay for Jim’s schooling or Gabe’s child care (he went to the center on campus at the college) through the wonders of financial aid.

My husband and I both have chronic health concerns. He was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis just after my son’s birth and has suffered from some pretty nasty side effects almost continuously since diagnosis. There were a few times when things got so bad for him he couldn’t even function and my in-laws had to come from MI to take my son for awhile until my husband got better. I just couldn’t work fulltime and take care of them both, which made me feel tremendously guilty and like a failure as a mother and wife. I mean, isn’t the modern woman supposed to be some sort of “Super Mom” who can do anything and be cheerful to boot? I am a Type 1 diabetic. I use an insulin pump. I used to be in great control of my diabetes. Then I had my son and everything seemingly went down the toilet. I’m sure the stress of a newborn, added to the irregular schedule and inconsistency of nutritious meals (I ate what I could find, when I had a spare second), was what really did me in. I just haven’t been able to get a handle on it. I feel like I used to really be in tune with my body. Now I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself. I have made myself a goal to eat better and to find a gym and begin a regular exercise program once we get a handle on our finances and can afford it.

When we moved back to MI, we moved in two doors down from my in-laws and were also about 15 minutes away from Jim’s brother, his wife and their new baby. (My family lives about 2 hours away to the west.) Being this close to family is not necessarily a terrible thing. We really missed them when we were out in NY. When we moved originally, everyone thought we were crazy, but they weren’t terribly concerned because it was just the two of us. It was when we had Gabe that the crapola hit the fan. No one wants to be 8 hours away from their grandchild/nephew. Gabe has really enjoyed seeing his grandparents on an almost daily basis and we wanted him to be able to grow up with his new cousin. We decided to move back after Jim graduated and our in-laws graciously allowed us to rent a house that they were in the process of flipping. The only real downside to this is that the house really isn’t finished. We moved in about 2 ½ weeks ago and just got a stove today. For the first week we didn’t have a fridge. We still do not have finished cabinets, a countertop or a sink in the kitchen. The shower in the bathroom doesn’t really work. We have had an infestation of ants. I’d rather have ants than almost any other bug, but it annoys me when they bite. Those stinkers hurt! We have no washer or dryer. I go over to my in-laws to do laundry. The water softener is broken, which means that the well water leaves rusty stains on almost everything it touches. I don’t mind the taste or even the smell of well water. What I do mind is when it’s staining my brand new sink, toilet and tub. Now, please don’t think me ungrateful. I am very thankful for all that they have done and continue to do, I’m just frustrated. My in-laws have put a tremendous amount of work into this house to make it ready for us. They have painted, installed carpet and refinished the wood floors. It’s going to be lovely and cozy when it’s finally finished. I just get aggravated when I’m tripping over boxes all the time and can’t find anything because there’s no place to put it all away. I get tired of that. My father-in-law is over almost everyday working on something. I appreciate his efforts. However, when it’s 7:00 am in the morning and you’re just waking up to a toddler screaming to be let out of their cage/crib, and you have morning hair and morning breath and are perhaps not even wearing pants, you really don’t want your FIL to waltz in. I also feel guilty when I have to ask him to stop working (read: stop making loud banging noises) so that Gabe can nap.

Our in-laws are very different from my husband and I. We are very social people. We enjoy hanging out with our friends. We love to play games, watch movies and just talk to people. Our in-laws and Jim’s brother and sister-in-law are very self-contained. They’ve been a very close knit group for the past five years since we’ve been gone. It’s been hard for us to try to connect with them and oftentimes we end up feeling closed-out and hurt. I know that they don’t do it intentionally, but it hurts us nonetheless. We’re at the end of our rope trying to bond with them and I just don’t know what to do. I had this fantasy that my sister-in-law and I were going to become great friends and bond over the discussions of dirty diapers and baby milestones. I realize that’s expecting too much, but I just wanted a friend. We miss our friends and church family from NY desperately.

We were very involved in our church out in NY. We served as the youth leaders for awhile and we loved it. We had to stop when it became too much for us with our health concerns. It just wasn’t fair to the kids for us not to give it our best effort. Our friends and our church really became our family out in NY and it was one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to do to leave them. We prayed and agonized about that decision for months, but in the end God made it clear that he wanted us back in MI. We’re currently trying out new churches. That is a really difficult thing to do. We found one that looks promising. They have several boys there that are within a few weeks of Gabe’s age. Hopefully it works out and we can get involved because Jim and I really need to find somewhere we can talk to people.

Jim’s health seems to have been affected by the move. He has developed the new complication of joint pain. He ended up having to cut short his first day at work yesterday and go to the emergency clinic to have his hip looked at. Today the pain is worse to the point where he can barely walk. I had to get his crutches out for him so he could get around. We may be making a trip to the ED tonight. Luckily we still have insurance from my old job. The tricky part is that we don’t have regular doctors yet because we have out-of-state insurance. Without a specialist to look after Jim, I’m not sure they’re going to be able to do much about his condition. I hope and pray that it goes away this weekend so he can go back to work on Monday and be productive. We’re quickly running out of the money we saved to get us through the period between employments.

I am not currently working. I’m not even sure if I’m going to look for another job or if I should go back to school and get my Masters degree. If I do go back to school, what should I get my degree in? There are just so many questions in my future right now. I feel so adrift. I enjoy staying home with my son. He’s at such a great age. He learning something new everyday and looks at the world with wonder in his eyes. He also throws things, refuses to eat his vegetables and his favorite word is “No.” I used to be a toddler teacher and really enjoyed it, but it’s different with your own child. I seem to get much more frustrated with him than I ever did with my students. I’m just not sure I’m cut out to stay at home with him fulltime. I miss working. I still feel like I’m making a difference, but I miss the adult interaction. I’m sure that the stress of living in an unfinished home contributes to my feelings of discontent. I’m hoping that getting into a regular schedule will help me. I’m also hoping to find a play group or MOPS group somewhere near by to connect with other kids and get Gabe a chance to socialize.

I also have let my daily quiet time slip away. It’s just so easy to place other things as a higher priority than that when you’re life is in chaos. Some days I don’t even get a shower, how am I supposed to squeeze in time to read my Bible? ;) Again, I’m hoping that having a consistent schedule will help with that. I know full well the value of a daily quiet time with God. My days that I have one are significantly better than my days without. I need all the grace and peace that I can get in my life! I just feel so distant from God right now with all that’s been going on. I resent Him a little for up rooting my life and making me leave a job that I loved. I know that He has a wonderful plan for me and it’s better than anything I could come up with, but right now, with no friends and no church, that seems a small consolation. Then I feel guilty for being unhappy. I mean, I have a wonderful family that loves me (even though they don’t always make me feel that way, I know that they do and they’ve always been there for me when I’ve needed them), I have a roof over my head (that doesn’t leak anymore – YAY!), I have a great husband and a darling, healthy child that is the light of my life and I have a God that loves me. I guess I just need to focus on the positives. It’s just hard to do sometimes.

I hear Gabe. Guess naptime is over. Thanks for letting me dump on you. If you like, leave me a comment. I’d love to know someone’s out there with a sympathetic ear.

Just to update everyone, Jim and I spent last night in the ED.  We finally got a hold of his GI doctor and told him what was going on.  (Jim had been loosing quite a bit of blood when he would have bowel movements and he is already anemic, so that wasn't good.)  The doctor said to head on over the the emergency department to get checked out just to be safe. 

We left Gabe with some friends from church.  I was worried about him because of what had happened earlier, but my gut told me that he was fine.  I left him with a mother who had had two children and also gave her his doctor's number just in case so I felt a bit better.  I had never been away from him overnight, but I didn't want to take him with us, make him miserable, make everyone around us unhappy because he was fussy and run the risk of him catching who knows what from someone who came in to get treated.  It's bad enough that Jim isn't even supposed to hold him for fear of contaminating him with whatever virus he has.  Thank goodness for breastmilk!  It broke my heart to leave him, but he ended up doing great and woke up happy as a clam the next day, so he hasn't suffered any ill effects.  Anyway, Jim is just fine.  They gave him two bags of saline in an IV which helped tremendously.  They also took blood, urine and stool samples and did a CT scan.  Everything came back normal.  They think that the Ibuprofen he was on was irritating his UC and causing the bleeding.  They said that if the bleeding didn't clear up in the next few days to follow up with his GI doctor, but it seems to have stopped as of tonight.  Woo Hoo!  Jim's parents are going to be here tomorrow (all the way from Michigan) to help out so that Jim can get some much needed rest and maybe finally recover from all of this! 

Also, I finally got the nerve to write down my breastfeeding saga if you're interested. 

Ok, here's the scoop on my husband Jim in the past few months: 
Jim was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis a few months ago.  He's been having problems with the symptoms of that, but at the time we didn't know that the UC was what was causing them (arthritis in various joints that moves around, he'll have it in his knee one day and his jaw the next - they diagnosed him with TMJ at first, random slight fevers which produce night sweats - ick).  They diagnosed him with TMJ, and wrote him a script for a bite guard and muscle relaxers.  These didn't help.  He went back.  They gave him a script for antibiotics in case it was an infection and ibuprofen.  He felt better for awhile, but then it stopped.  He went back to them a few more times.  He got a script for Prednisone.  That helped a lot!  (Turns out that they give the steroids when the UC flares up, but for obvious reasons, he can't be on it all the time...)  Somewhere along the way he also got  a script for Tylenol with Codeine.  Then his throat started hurting.  It is now covered in white spots.  He also started getting muscle aches and had some abdominal pain.  His eyes were also way blood shot.  I took his temp last night - 104.  This scared me.  He was taking the Ibuprofen and Tylenol, he should not have even had a fever.  I called the pharmacist who informed me that I couldn't give him anything else for the fever.  So I put him in a luke warm bath.  This eventually brought the fever down to 99, but it took awhile and scared me out of my wits.  After he got out, it went back to 101, but that wasn't nearly as scary as 104!  So, he went back to the doctor today.  He has some sort of viral infection in his throat, similar to strep and viral conjuntivitis in both eyes (I didn't even know there was such a thing!).  He also has a (quoting the PA) "raging" UTI.  They're going to be doing a kidney ultrasound in the next few days to make sure he doesn't also have a kidney infection(s).  Seriously, he can NOT catch a break.  Due to this, I am trying to take care of him *and* Gabe.  I've become very spoiled by having such a wonderful husband who really helps out with our baby.  So instead of me just doing half of the Gabe work, I am now attempting to do all of it and nurse my hubby on top of it.  I am exhausted!!!

Gabe is doing great.  He's getting huge.  Colly, I think that he will fit into those cute outfits that you sent soon (did you ever get a Thank You note from me? *mental note* finish those DAMN things).  I will be sure to post a pic when he does.  I think he may be starting to teethe.  He has become a drool monster.  I love him so much.  He makes mornings so much more bearable.  He always wakes up happy as a lark, smiling and cooing.  It's enough to make even grumpy old me smile. 

The biggest issue we're having is that he will *not* nurse during the day anymore at all.  He will nurse at night, but only with the nipple shield, which is a pain, but if it's the only way he'll nurse, then I'll do what I need to do!  So I've been pumping during the day.  I don't think that it really helps my supply, but I don't know what else to do!  I tried taking fenugreek, but it didn't really do anything.  I'm just so exhausted right now, I know that's not helping things. 

I'll leave you with this - Jim sent me this picture this afternoon.  Yet another reason I love my family. 

I don't even want to contemplate how long it's been since I've posted.  So yeah, I'm not dead, just exhausted!  I have little money and even less sleep these days, but my life is overflowing with love for the little man that has invaded it so thoroughly.

Things have been challenging.  It took awhile for my blood pressure to get back to normal from the toxemia.  My doctor ended up keeping me out of work for eight weeks instead of six due to that.  We've been having some problems with breastfeeding, but we're working on them.  Gabe was born three weeks early and had jaundice.  Because of this, he was a weak/lazy sucker and I had to wear a nipple shield to make it easier for him to start off.  This lead to my supply not being what it should have been and Gabe not gaining enough weight fast enough.  We've been working on getting off of the shield and increasing my supply, but it's always one step forward, two steps back.  As of right now we're supplimenting with formula because the Dr. wants us to give Gabe a bottle after every feeding and I can't pump enough to keep up with him.  We've been to the lactation consultants a few times.  I've been taking fenugreek and pumping after every feeding, but it doesn't seem to be making a difference.  I usually only end up pumping about six ounces while I'm at work.  Since he eats about an ounce, if not more, for every hour I'm gone and I work eight hour days, that's not enough.  I'm doing everything I can, but it's just not enough.  I *HATE* that he gets formula, but I want him to be healthy, too.  Sometimes I get so frustrated, I cry.  I just don't know what to do!!!  As of last Friday, Gabe weighed eight pounds, eleven ounces.  He has another Dr.'s appointment on Monday and I'm hoping he's going to top nine pounds.  At his first appointment, he was only six pounds, twelve ounces.  He's been slow in the weight gain department and the Dr. was throwing around scary words like "failure to thrive."  I know he's still behind, but at least he's gaining weight more quickly I guess. 

It's just that at this point, I honestly am feeling fairly overwhelmed by everything.  We lost Jim's income so he could stay at home with Gabe most of the week.  That has made things pretty tight financially.  We have been blessed by having a wonderful, loving lady from our church watching Gabe for the rest of the time and we recently acquired a new vehicle for when Jim starts clinicals in another month.  But I still feel like almost everything in my life is going out of control right now.  I'm feeling distant from God and have completely lost interest in doing any youth ministry work.  Our finances are not that great.  I feel like a troll.  I am still carrying around baby weight and the oh-so-lovely stretch marks.  My apartment is absolutely gross.  I have zero energy or desire to do housework.  I'm exhausted by the time I get home from work and my weekends are spent catching up on sleep and spending time with Jim and Gabe.  I feel like during the week I barely see either one of them.  I hate that Gabe has to be watched by someone other than me, even though I'd go nuts at home.  My health has been semi-crappy because I can't for the life of me seem to get my blood sugar in control these days.  Some days I forget to test at all.  Add to that, I don't eat that well, or at all sometimes, because I'm busy with Gabe.  The only things that are going well are my marriage (thank you, Lord) and my job.  Oh yeah, I went back to work a few weeks ago.  I feel guilty that when people ask me if I am going crazy being back at work and away from Gabe, my response is "No."  I enjoy my job and the work I do.  I feel like I make a difference in the lives of the people I work with.  I was going crazy at home by the end of my maternity leave.  Does this make me a bad mother???  I feel like it does. 

He's a really wonderful baby.  He's not really fussy and is very alert.  I think he might take after his daddy and a serious little guy since he is usually very happy to just sit and observe things.  He especially loves to look at lights.  He loves his mommy, his kitties and taking naps in the sunshine.  The parenting learning curve is pretty steep at first, but I feel like Jim and I are starting to get a handle on it.  We just keep praying for God to lead us in the right direction.  I know He won't steer us wrong.  Please pray for me.  Sorry that this is so disjointed.  I'm tired, but the only chance I have to actually type at the computer is when Gabe is sleeping.   :)

As a reward for slogging through all that, here are some cute (at least *I* think so, but I may be biased) baby pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/gabe.allen

Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since I've updated.  I'm sorry, but I've been fairly busy!  :)  I had my little boy on Feb. 4th at 6:51 pm.  I was induced due to having a fairly nasty case of toxemia (which still isn't completely gone yet - ugh).  He was 6 pounds, 3 ounces and I'm so happy just to have him home!  We were both in the hospital for almost a week afterwards, him for jaundice and me for the toxemia. 

Dear Everyone,

Contrary to popular opinion, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.  I've just been busy and exhausted.  I promise a very extensive post later this week...  or at least an explanation of sorts.  :)  Hope y'all had a great holiday season!

Me

Another gem from my oh-so-awesome MIL.  :)  Enjoy!  

*smirk*  Why yes, they are, or rather he is.  :)